Or you could call this post random. It's probably both honest and random and we'll see if it ends up being short or long.
I love being a member of the LDS church. But sometimes I don't like the stereotypes that come along with it. Like yesterday at church, I swear everyone was asking me when I'm going to have another baby. Serious? I feel like I still have a baby. I know, I know, I should be spacing them out every two years like everyone else, but I'M NOT READY!!! Can't I enjoy just having one? Sometimes I feel selfish because I don't want all the work that comes along with another one. I DO want another one, just not NOW!
I have bad habits. I love Diet Coke. People tell me I'm setting a bad example for Addi. I know I need to stop drinking it. I don't want her drinking soda pop. It's sooooooo bad for you. I want her to be healthy, unlike me :( I also have a horrible habit that whenever I get up in the night to give her a bottle, I get into my stash of chocolate and eat a bunch at 2 am, or 4 am or whenever, even multiple times a night. It rots my teeth and clogs my arteries as I go back to sleep.
Which brings me to another problem. I haven't weened Addi off her bottle. She shouldn't still be drinking a "ba-ba". Honestly, I think it's harder for me than for her. I don't want to face the fact that my baby is not a baby anymore. See? I have issues.
I am reading a book called, "Ere His Floods of Anger Flow". It is INCREDIBLE. SO GOOD!! It makes me realize how horrible our world is becoming. Sometimes at night I lay awake stressing about raising my family in this world. I need to set a better example. This book has made me realize that if we don't do the "small and simple" things like reading our scriptures, having family prayer, FHE etc, we will be unprepared to face the world ahead. It's a good stress I feel.
People are so hard to read. I wish we could all just walk around with big signs on our heads that said what our minds were thinking. I hate when people pretend to be nice to you, but you just don't believe they're genuine. I wish jealousy didn't exist. We all get too caught up in being better than the next person that we look past what we have in common with one another. We lose out on the bonding and the fun we could have with each other because of our pride and jealousy. What a wasted emotion.
I love reality TV. I'm trying not to watch as much as I used to. I get a little obsessed. I love DWTS. Esp Erin and Maks. The other night I youtubed them and their intvws together. I secretly hope they're dating and have a romance. I even had a dream about the two of them last night (don't worry it was G-rated). A little obsessed you think? Why do I care? IDK.
I'm frustrated with the Spazzy Jazz. They didn't even show up against the Lakers. That's all I'm going to say about them.
Wow, what a post. But hey! I feel better now that I got some things off my chest! Oh and I have one more thing to say, I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER! There. I said it. I'm officially retarded!
The 411
13 years ago
7 comments:
Justin Bieber? Ewww Tara. I'm with you though, I have issues with two-faced people. I'm probably two-faced sometime myself though. Don't worry what people say about more kids. Do it when you're ready, or you may not enjoy it as much. Addi has enough personality for about fifteen kids; maybe some people just don't realize that :) You're a great mom. We all have our bad habits, but at least yours is only chocolate and coke. I love it when you post stuff like this. Too many blogs make the family just look too perfect. This makes us all feel a little better. Love ya Tara
Ok so you know I HATE HATE fake people more than anything!! Sometimes people think I am a crazy bitty because I say what I am feeling/thinking it may offend some people but at least I am me! On to the next child subject people again are freaking crazy!!! Just because some people are retarded (hmmmm) and have three kids in three years doesn't mean you have to by all means!! I think it is more of a conversation starter than anything. If you only want to have one child than that is completely up to YOU who cares what other people think!
There are SO many judgmental people in the world I have learned that NOBODY is perfect and EVERYBODY has their faults. We really shouldn't be the ones doing the judging anyways! Your a great Mother to Addi don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!
Holy crap sorry for the long comment!!
I was just laughing out loud, thank you:) And ps having 2 kids is hard...take your sweet time! Oh and I'll never give up Diet Coke so anyone who thinks that's bad can shuv it... I feel better now too.
People bugged Dave and me about when we were getting married, and once we were married, they're hounding us about having a baby. Grr!
And you're not a bad mom. So what if she's weened from her bottle a little late :)
I think a lot about how horrible the world is, and it makes me nervous to have kids. But all I can think is that the Lord hasn't retracted the commandment to multiply and replenish. Which means it's not impossible. All we can do is live the gospel and do our best.
No worries Tara, you're wonderful!!!! :)
I LOVE this post. I'm the same way with Mt Dew as you are with diet coke. ha ha. I kept my boys on bottles as long as I felt like it. For my sanity. I just do what I feel is best. I don't care. haha People give me crap for having my kids too close. It's what I feel is right, ya know?? ANyways. Loved the post. I agree with you on alot. :]
I hate the fakeness. I am a pretty down to earth girl. Generally 98% I wear my emotions and feelings on my sleeve. I swear here and there, but am trying to quit, but really try not to do it in front of Collin at the very least. I was the worst Primary teacher the last month and half, and I am not sure they kicked me out because of the morning sickness or because of my unruly 15 month old. I love being pregnant, but was not planning this one, and was just happy to have Collin and am worried about having to share my attentions with a new baby. I hate facebook, and hate that being online and not speaking face to face can really twist the way things should sound. I wish my family was was all active, and wish that my brother did not have to go to Afghanistan this summer, because it scares me. I feel like I am pretty real on my blog. I feel like people sometimes are angry at my honesty, when really I am trying to just express myself and be honest about life. I love your blog, and I too hate that people in Utah put such a pressure to have kids (or more kids) especially since some people should really wait to have kids (until they grow up themselves!) That's what I am saying.
oh Tara, Tara, Tara--I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!! You are such a funny, cute, and one-of-a-kind person. You're a mom that has Bieber Fever and you're addicted to chocolate. How bad can you be? You're just cute, that's all there is to it!!
You really made me think with this HONEST post. You know, I have probably offended people by being too up front and curious about what their plans are. To some people, those questions are very personal, but others are excited and are just waiting for people to tell! Granted there are many ways to go about asking...You never know the underlying circumstances, whether a couple IS trying and things aren't working out, or maybe they're a little overwhelmed with life right now! We told people from the time we got married that our first priority was to get Matt through school before we start a family. Because that killed everyone's curiosity people either just respect what we're doing because they understand or they don't care. I asked you. Sorry to be one of many annoying stereotypical baby-obsessed Mormons to repeat the question, but when you told me, I definitely got it. Just because we all believe in families doesn't mean we have to have 7 kids by the time we're 30. You have a beautiful little family! Everyone has their own time table, whether it's to pop them all out at once (I hate that phrase, yet I just used it!) or take it one step at a time. There's pros and cons to every plan. I like your plan. And by the way, even if you did give up the things you think you need to, all your kids are still going to be in love with sugar, whether you are or not. So I say, give Addi a bottle of diet coke and some chocolate, sit back and enjoy her! Hee hee. Good advice right? I'm just kidding. But I miss you girl!
XOXO
Kira
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